Drama Club Audition T-Shirts

'They all want to play the star.'

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Presenter Auditions.

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

'If experience is the best teacher, why can't I get a student loan?'

Ventriloquist Audition

Casting Director

The first rule of mime club is: You Do Not Talk About Mime Club!

"Take it from the beginning. Act One. 'Gypsy.' 'May We Entertain You?' And this time, Mrs. Ritterhouse, without the Baby June split."

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

Doom & Gloom

Victorian Garden Romance

"This is a blind audition, right?"

"Remember, you're a 17-year old fashion model. Now go out and act like you've never acted before."

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'

She's a natural.

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

Don Giovanni

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

Don Giovanni

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'