Doughnut Fan Gifts

"I'm relly into hole foods!"

"And where have you been all night?! Your eyes are all glazed over."

'The day-old doughnuts may be a false economy.'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Picking pastries.

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Apple Pie Abduction

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'Okay, on the count of three we fight back. One. . . Two. . .'

Doughnut Making

Smiling Cake: Brave yet stupid pastry...smiled all the way to the small intestine

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

"How about a little more coffee?"

Flan-eating bacteria

Dog Day Afternoon

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"All those who want the doughnuts with jam in the middle please raise your hand."

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

"I wish he'd spend less time baking and more time inventing."

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

Cake Walk.

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

Doughnut Criminals