Dorm Life Humorist Pillows

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Peter

"But I use all of them!"

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

When staffing agencies screw up.

Bed Fellow

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

'Gravity wins - again.'

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

"Dinner will be ready soon, I hear the pizza truck rounding the corner."

"Jordan takes his wife's wind chimes – he shoots!"

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"Dinner's ready!" "I can't hear you!"

Rocket charmer.

'My member requires some interest.'

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

'I'm bored.'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

Convict Decor

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

"You don't need a prescription, Mr. Beesley - you need an iron...."

Chicane

Woman has man in shopping trolley

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

Castle with parking lot.

"All I said was, 'I'll take out the garbage when I'm ready'."

' Dave - I need you to give me more space.'