Dorm Life Enthusiast Pillows

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

Stainless steel dorms!

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

Student Food Pyramid

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'All he does is sleep all day but we're dog tired and lazy!'

'Wake up, Mr. Granger, the doctor will see you about your insomnia now.'

Student rakes leaveslaundry in dorm room.

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

Magicians make terrible roommates. 'Did you clean or just make everything disappear?' 'Where's my keys?!' 'You know I have an early class!'

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

Brother Kevin is wrecking the dorm!

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

'I've been offered a week under the viaduct and three nights in a pizza hut doorway, after which I get my own cardboard box.'

Man sleeping under the bed.

"So, this is Becky. She's single and she's totally your type."

Using a Snow Blower in Dorm Room.

'Well. . . my first year of college is going okay, but I really wish I could get some new roommates.'

"He's an indoor cat."

'I know my grades weren't that good, but on the plus side, I'm the only person in my dorm who hasn't maxed out a credit card.'

"If this dorm is co-ed, why are there 27 guys and just me!?"

Spending too much time in bed.

'Sure. Blame the messenger.'

'I demand a saliva test!'

'Oh, he couldn't be sleepwalking - he's far too lazy for THAT.'

We need tableware as wedding gifts. As a bachelor eating from a box, bag or can, Phil never acquired plates.