Dorm Life Humorist Gifts

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"But I use all of them!"

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

Bed Fellow

When staffing agencies screw up.

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

'Gravity wins - again.'

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"Dinner will be ready soon, I hear the pizza truck rounding the corner."

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"Dinner's ready!" "I can't hear you!"

'My member requires some interest.'

Rocket charmer.

"Jordan takes his wife's wind chimes – he shoots!"

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

'I'm bored.'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

Chicane

Convict Decor

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

"You don't need a prescription, Mr. Beesley - you need an iron...."

Woman has man in shopping trolley

Castle with parking lot.

"All I said was, 'I'll take out the garbage when I'm ready'."

"Thankfully, college is preparing us for unemployment."