Doorway Philosopher Gifts

"The day I got this job was a real turning point in my career."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

"So that's where you were last night."

You can't get what up

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

Chicken: the one-man show

"A road yet uncrossed, My heart takes wing at the sight - The journey is life."

"I don't miss my accountancy life. I find I get out more nowadays."

Writer's irony.

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

'Existential truckstop'

Baroque

Homeless man's sign: 'Sperm donor to the crowned heads of Europe.'

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

The Lonesome Highway - Next 30 Miles No Shoulder to cry on.

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

Bank

'The problem is I can't tell the difference between a deeply wise, intuitive nudge from the Universe and one of my own bone-headed ideas!'