Doorway Detective Gifts

"Hey fellows, this one's open."

Snail Peephole

'Curiosity'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

Those missing socks...where do they go?

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

Open entrance door to find exit door directly behind it.

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

"You're closer. You get it."

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

"This is probably how they keep getting in."

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

Visiting the Opera

'I don't know, Al... A dumpster in the middle of the woods! Seems kind of fishy to me.'

"You can use Dave's cubicle. He has Seasonal Affective Disorder and won't be using it this winter. Whoa! I guess I'm wrong. There he is, hibernating under the desk!"

In Agatha Christie's bathroom.

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

'That must be the termite inspector.'

Not only have we been laid off, but, being small, we can crawl through air ducts with ease.

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

Veterinary Surgeon's waiting room, dog walking in through pet door.

'We may find that there are hidden service charges with this place ...'

Window of Opportunity

"Helene tells me you're into fabrics."

'Antiques are things one generation buys, the next generation gets rid of, and the following generation buys again.'