Door-to-door Enthusiast Gifts

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

One more ring and Bob would set off the Solicitor Glove,

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

James decided to stay in that night.

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Staycation Photos

"He'll talk you to death."

Man sees a sign on a door - Open At Other Side.

"Have I found Jesus? I didn't know he was missing!!"

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

Sale: All Doors Massively Reduced!

"Would you like to buy a candy bar to help us raise money for our social security."

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

'Every time I pass through here I get heartburn.'

Where is global warming when you want it?

"Oh, yes—do come in!"

The Great Out-doors

"Two quarter-pounders, with fries and two large sodas. . . hey Tom, ask the guy in back if he wants anything."

"Why would this taste better to me served from a drive thru window?"

Pandemic playhouse.

Double-glazing salesman's spiel sends household to sleep.

'We should get out more often, where's the door?'

Catching the Sun

'Could you come back next week and demonstrate it yet again?'

'It's a beautiful day. Go out and click.'

'The mountain top was good to me, but at my age I like working indoors.'

'Nature makes me nervous!'

'Do you want the Head of the house or Dad?'

"Don't be ridiculous. This is for ordering food. Job interviews are being conducted straight ahead on the left."

"Hello Ma'am! Have you ever looked at other shark owners and thought 'Why not me?'..."

Jumpin' Jehoshaphat's Witness. (Published previously on March 18, 2008.)

'Poor Oog -- he invented the door, and locked himself out of his cave.'

'He knows the best places to eat. That's why he sits up front with us.'

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

We never go out anymore.