Doomsday Diviners Gifts

Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of civilization

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Optimist

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Apocalypse Research Center

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Poll: The World Will End With: Nuclear War, Global Warming, Assault Weapons.

How to survive the coming crash.

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"

Climate Change Contingency House

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

Prepare to meet your author today!

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

The End is Nigh

"I find your projections a little pessimistic, Lee."

"What really bothers me is he's my financial advisor."

'Come back in a couple of days. Maybe something will have opened up.'

"Whoa! In 7 billion years, the sun will expand and engulf the entire planet, melting away any evidence it ever existed!"

I survived end of the world after party.

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

"The end of the world is nigh."

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'