Doomsday Believer Gifts

"Ideally I'm after a short-term relationship."

"My retirement strategy was pretty much dependent on the Mayans being right."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Optimist

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Apocalypse Research Center

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'We need to change our marketing strategy.'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"

"Every time Trump wins a primary, we get one step closer."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

Poll: The World Will End With: Nuclear War, Global Warming, Assault Weapons.

How to survive the coming crash.

When a nanosecond is forever.

Climate Change Contingency House

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

Prepare to meet your author today!

The End is Nigh

"Your 401(k) is a low-risk investment, other than a few stocks that happen to finance the end of human civilization as we know it."

"I find your projections a little pessimistic, Lee."

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

"Don't sweat the huge stuff."

Llamageddon and the Alpacalypse

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

"Actually, I will have fries with that."