Domestic Philosopher Pillows

"Say the egg didn't come back - then what?"

"Ever wake up and think, No, I did nothing to change the course of human history?"

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

CHEZ MOI - formerly CHEZ NOUS

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"So that's where you were last night."

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

The Boys of Indian Summer

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

"A new study shows half of all marriages end in divorce when one of the spouses bring their work home with them. Would you care to respond, honey?"

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

Man ironing out a line graph.

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

"Good news. Your child buys into the change paradigm of growing up."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

Writer's irony.

'Dad, are we rich?'

"I'm sorry, dear, but you know how I feel about intra-marital sex."