Domestic Magician T-Shirts

"It works!"

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

Come dine with me!

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Primitive magician

"I can't believe he brought her."

Benihana style of cooking.

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"Take me to your Larder!"

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit