Domestic Magician T-Shirts

"It works!"

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

Come dine with me!

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I can't believe he brought her."

Benihana style of cooking.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Primitive magician

"Take me to your Larder!"

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Juggler and Illusionist

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Magic Tricks

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'