Home Makeover Magician T-Shirts

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'This guy's FAST!'

'It says on the tin... For best results put on two coats!'

Painting by numbers - "Is this your first decorating job."

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"I'm assuming this is the first time you've hung wallpaper...?"

Painter has borrowed children's slide to paint the walls.

Come dine with me!

Let's get organized

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Benihana style of cooking.

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

A holiday at home

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

Surprise in the salad bowl

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."