Modern Magician T-Shirts

"It's like texting, but for dead people."

Ellis K., Appliance Faith Healer

Wishing well with sign reading credit cards accepted.

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"I can't believe he brought her."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Primitive magician

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

Magic Tricks

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"Do you have an appointment?"

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Magic Tricks

Wikipedia...

Juggler and Illusionist

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'