Modern Magician T-Shirts

"It's like texting, but for dead people."

Ellis K., Appliance Faith Healer

Wishing well with sign reading credit cards accepted.

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"You can have 3 wishes apart from: No, I can't synch your phone with your computer. . ."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"I can't believe he brought her."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Primitive magician

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Juggler and Illusionist

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Magic Tricks

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

Magic Tricks

"Do you have an appointment?"