Mystical Magician T-Shirts

"I have to know how it's done."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"I can't believe he brought her."

Primitive magician

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

Magic Tricks

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

Magic Tricks

Juggler and Illusionist

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"