Domestic Life Enjoyer Gifts

"Think about the honey."

"Honey, could you pass me the cow."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"I'm so good at this!"

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"I read the audio book."

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

The best time capsules are our children.

"I suppose your mother and I should have said something earlier, but it never seemed like the right time to talk about your adoption."

"The groceries are in the car."

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

"I've decided to have a kid."

The apartment 5-J Film Festival.

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

"Apologies but you'll have to count me out tonight - Lynn and I are working on our marriage."

"How long before I have a dad body?"

"Michael, I think I found your bubble gum."

"So, how long have you been a double agent, Tommy?"

"What - I ask for an explanation from you and you don't even know why?! I'f like to haven explanation for that, my dear!"