Domestic Life Analyst Gifts

"As far as roommates go he's fine, he just leaves deadly traps everywhere."

'Irwin likes to get off by himself every now and then.'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

Crap from the future.

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Modern Life Blues

"If it's all random, why are you always here?"

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

How it started: How it's going

"Very funny."

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

"Thanks Mum, but I prefer to use twitter to enlarge the microcosms of daily life."

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

Did you clean the loose snakes out of the shower drain? Medusa's husband.

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

'I'm his best friend, until his wife walks in.'

"Honey, I'm home."

Two ATMs sit side by side; one is labeled "Cash" while the other is labeled "Power".

"I had a hell a time choosing which wine went with your unrealistic expectation of me."

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."

"He looks so natural."

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."