Domestic Drill Sergeant Pillows

Home Economics with an Attitude...

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"Lemming Boot Camp"

Those missing socks...where do they go?

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

A yeoman misunderstanding an order from his drill-sergeant

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

'I heard you mom is really strict.'

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

Good disciplinarian gaining respect vs. scary nutcase.

"Oh, are you attacking from home today?"

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

The five stages of laundry 1. Denial I'll do it tomorrow. 2. Anger Why are there no clean clothes!? 3. Bargaining Ok! Who wants to help with the laundry? 4. Depression Can't. Do. It. 5. Acceptance

"Was it you dad's idea to play 'taps' at our wedding?"

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

"As a child, Timothy would often test his mother’s patience."

"Sorry Helen but you knew I was a management consultant before we got married!"

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

"I can't heeear you!"

"I'm going to grab a snack, turn down the heat, check a few scores, put the clothes in the dryer and go to the bathroom. ... You need anything?"

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

Castle Cat Flap