Domestic Defender Pillows

Castle Cat Flap

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

"Harry, I'm sorry. I forgot you stopped your night shift."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

No Soliciting

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

A Change of Scene.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Science Snobs

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

Dog being carried off by ducks.

Those missing socks...where do they go?

'How long did you try before calling?'

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'Almost done.'

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

"I'm going to grab a snack, turn down the heat, check a few scores, put the clothes in the dryer and go to the bathroom. ... You need anything?"

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'