Domestic Dancer Gifts

I know you're keen to practise the new salsa routine, but I'm getting a bit jealous of the vacuum.

Romance over the Irons

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Balancing work and family

"I had to skip my workout."

Ironing day.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Washing Line Walker

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Whittler's Mother.

The household cavalry

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.