Domestic Chef T-Shirts

'What's for dinner? -- The answer may surprise you.'

'... and, another thing, it's more stodgy than my mother's.'

'Oh, he'll be alright - it's just food poisoning again.'

"Darling, sorry to bother you, but the steak won't fit into the toaster..."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"You do like octopus?"

Raw food, after you leave for work.

'Like death by salad.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Party time.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'Go on - they're organic!'

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"Happy thanksgiving!"

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head