Domestic Artist Pillows

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

'I knew something was wrong when I couldn't find my dinner.'

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Mom, will you help me take down my drawings? I'm selling my catalog."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"Hello?"

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

Through the Looking Glass - Alice Rows the Sheep.

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'

"OK, honey, if I make this one, we blow off Delia's recital."

Romance over the Irons

"Sloth is a sin."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

Man of steel wool.

Husband does the housework

"Is this the first time you've put wallpaper up?"

Husband washes the dishes

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

Human Dust Buster

Roach Motel

"Synchronized sitting"

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

"After working from home for ten months, I quit my job to spend less time with my family."