Domestic Dramatist Pillows

"Dinner's ready, if you want to take a break from your personal space."

Roach Motel

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

"Since he retired I like to keep in handy around the house."

Jean-Paul Sartre

Southwark Fair.

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

Comedy and tragedy masks

A man taking a bow

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

Henrik Ibsen,

The Perfect Foil

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

Performance In The Bedroom

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

Eugene Ionesco

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

James Barrie.

John Masefield.

The Modern Godot

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

Henrik Ibsen

Euripides