Family Dramatist Pillows

What They Brought to the Table

'I'm afraid his lordship is in his 'disinherit the lot of you'mood today!'

When they heard about the potential TikTok Ban

"Dad, not now!"

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

"Tell Mr. Yeltsin I'd be delighted. Minister of what?"