Domestic Artisan Pillows

"I had a bit of a quiet day, so I sculpted you in butter."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Mom, will you help me take down my drawings? I'm selling my catalog."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

Beyond Dante

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

Cut out and keep your own Pianist.

Husband washes the dishes

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

"Is this the first time you've put wallpaper up?"

Cheesemaker

Artisanal Everything, Inc,

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

"Darling, sorry to bother you, but the steak won't fit into the toaster..."

Painters

'It's my climbing the walls installation!'

The Brook-Green Volunteer Pt. 8

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Fairy.

'... and, another thing, it's more stodgy than my mother's.'

Disappearing Professions: The Shoeshiner.

'I knew something was wrong when I couldn't find my dinner.'

Watching the furnace fire

'What's for dinner? -- The answer may surprise you.'

"I noticed you weaving back there..."

'Oh, he'll be alright - it's just food poisoning again.'