Dojo Master Gifts

"To be a martial artist, one must be at peace with oneself. You must have dexterity! You must have flexibility! And you must believe in the impossible."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Overjumpers

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Barack Obama's To Do list.

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work, I overslept.'

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

All we have in life is this moment...

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'Once again, I fold.'

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

OM, SWEET OM

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

"Ever since I started Yoga, I don't freeze up as much."

'Are you sure about that? -- It sounds more like Ayn Rand than Buddha.'

Mitch Lee, kung-fondue master.