Doggy Advice Giver T-Shirts

'Trust me kid: You never really know if you have a good master until you stop being cute...'

"Have you tried biting him?"

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

"Is your dog friendly?!"

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

Dog Park. Ernie, let me help you navigate the dog park safely. Thanks. Never ask the dalmatian if you can play "Connect the Dots." Don't discuss international politics with the Siberian Husky, or make jokes around the Greyhound. The Saint Bernard does not find it funny if you ask for his blessing. And most importantly, unless you schedule is clear for a week ... yeah? Don't say "yes" when the Lab asks you to play with that ball with him!

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'

Dog's Loo

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'

Sheepdog

"Well I think we can safely rule out the idea of seeing-eye lemmings."

"He's suffering from heat exhaustion, may I suggest removing his coat?"

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

A blind Scuba-diver being lead by his Guide/Seeing Eye Fish

"What don't you understand about 'fetch'?"

'I could sue you for being species-ist.'

Blindman's blind guide dog with its own guide animal

Have you tried drinking ?

'On second thoughts I'm sure you'd make an excellent store detective, Mr Hodgson.'

"I've got your visual studio software here..."

'Sorry - I was just for Christmas.'

"Can I have the "dalmatian look" please?"

'The book isn't a self-help book, it's telling you that dogs aren't as important as humans.'

"Did you or did you not employ a leash to drag your cairn terrier, Jack, away from the corner of Park Avenue and Sixty-fifth Street in spite of his making every effort to clearly indicate to you that he wished to stay where he was?"

Seeing Eye Dog bumps into pole.

Clancy: Training Pets

'Sit!.. Good boy!'

"I didn't see the accused, but Skipper, here, smelled him."

That's right: Not only are we 'Man's best friend', but a lot of people are allergic to cats...

A man walks past a storefront for the "American Kennel Club" that has a sign in its windows that reads: "Some dogs allowed".