Doggie Elitist Gifts

"Oh, Fifi's 'purebred', if you catch my drift. . ."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

Champagne at the hunt

Woman Curls Her Dog.

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

A dog reads a newspaper

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

"No, I said 'sit'."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"The groomer used too much product."

"Worms."

'There's nothing wrong with being highbrow.'

"He won't wear the sweater I crocheted for him."

'The Garrett Club'

"There's no point us both barking."

"Can I have the "dalmatian look" please?"

"Goodness gracious no, I didn't go to a public puppy-school: I went to an elite private puppy-school..."

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

"Lady, I didn't go to barista school just to serve you black coffee."

"It's for what?! I thought it was a bark amplifier!

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

"Barking can be very affirmational."