Doggie Elitist Gifts

"Oh, Fifi's 'purebred', if you catch my drift. . ."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

Champagne at the hunt

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

Woman Curls Her Dog.

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

A dog reads a newspaper

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

"No, I said 'sit'."

"I wonder if the dumb obedience school gives a warranty..."

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"Sorry, sir. But if you can't pronounce it, you can't have it."

Oh, jeez, I should remember this guy! How do I sniff him without him knowing I'm sniffing him?

"Worms."

"The groomer used too much product."

'There's nothing wrong with being highbrow.'

'So smart and yet so dumb.'

"You got off easy. They put me under house arrest."

"Goodness gracious no, I didn't go to a public puppy-school: I went to an elite private puppy-school..."

"There's no point us both barking."

"It's for what?! I thought it was a bark amplifier!

Dog training tip: always make sure humans go through the doorways first.

"Can I have the "dalmatian look" please?"

"He won't wear the sweater I crocheted for him."

"Lady, I didn't go to barista school just to serve you black coffee."

Wussapalooka

'The Garrett Club'