Dog's Vet Appointment Pillows

Dog to dog: 'I didn't even know I was broken, but my nice owner is taking me tomorrow to get fixed.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Canine Scentipede

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"I've been calling, but he's not picking up."

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

Dog Igloo.

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

'Click it or ticket.'

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

Jumping Dogs

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'No need to shout.'

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

"What's worse, that or this?"

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."