Doggie Doctor Pillows

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

'Doctor Fenwick is busy with a patient. May I take a message, please?'

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

"And if this prescription doesn't work, see if you can get someone to rub your belly. That always make me feel better."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"Have you tried biting him?"

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

An inbred poodle.

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'The nice thing about group practice is that two minds are better than one.'

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

"May I keep my collar on?"

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

'You reach an age where shredded homework is a lot easier to digest.'

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

'Nonsense, Melvin! Who ever heard of a tapeworm that big?'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Sweetheart, Danny can't come home right now... I'll take a look at your doll baby this evening then probably schedule some tests.'

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

Vet checks fish's heartbeat with a stethoscope through fish bowl.

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

'The vet did it.'

"But You Knew I Was An Animal Doctor!"

"We had him neutered,"

"I'm a highly skilled service companion specifically trained to help people with disabilities such as visual impairment, PTSD and other disorders."

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