Doggie Doctor Jokes Pillows

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Dog wearing a cone

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

Pet owner pours out contents of treats for dog that are oddly shaped. Box titled: 'Funny Bones'.

"Do you want to speak to the man in charge or the nurse who knows what's going on?"

"She never took to the leash."

"The dog wants out again!"

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

"My human can't tell which end is which."

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

'Oh no, they're back!'

GP say 10 minute surgery is not long enough

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

'Nonsense, Melvin! Who ever heard of a tapeworm that big?'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

"I'm not supposed to eat things I find on the ground...but I think this might be ok."

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

"A specialist is a doctor with a smaller practice and a bigger home."

'It's a shaggy dog storey.'

"Relax, Sparky! Doctors say bone loss is normal at our age!"