Dog Rival Gifts

"Me, I have a lot of respect for my human. He spends his days annoying the neighbourhood's dogs: he's a postman you see..."

Tension filled the tent.

Agility God

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Polygamists' Picnic

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'The grudge match.'

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

An Archeologic Dig

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

Most dog-like dog.

"Jones ... don't use that 'I'm only human' excuse with me again!"

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

Strikeout Dog

Dog tallying his score against the mailman.

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'Sure, Dog Shows can be stressful, but I just love the time and attention Master gives me while preparing for them...'

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

Itchy Butt 50

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

Nuke mouse.

"I'm for universal coverage but not for cats."

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

A dog cruising around in his car looking for cats, sporting his number of kill badges of cats on the side of his car.

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed all my brothers and sisters."

"Mom always liked you best."