Sports Rival Gifts

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

"Pickleballers – one mile away."

EuroSoccer Kick-off.

Last chance to heckle a Yankee, next 150 miles.

'I'm afraid we're going to ask you to take a urine test, David'

"Then again, maybe it was MY GAME that was off dear!"

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Tension filled the tent.

Polygamists' Picnic

You were warned about mixed marriages.

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

"Fine - you don't want to run in the corporate 5K - I get it. What about the corporate cage fighting team?"

'The grudge match.'

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

An Archeologic Dig

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

Lion v Kiwi.

I won! I finished my pizza first! Want to make it two out of three?

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

England And The Ashes

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

Trick Number 9: plant valuables in his room...in case you need a reason for a quick getaway.

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed all my brothers and sisters."

"An area where a specific species lives. . . like my older sister in the bathroom."

"Mom always liked you best."