Sporting Rivalries Enthusiast Gifts

"Daddy doesn't hate the Yankees. Daddy has issues with the Yankees."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

You were warned about mixed marriages.

COWS: Cow Pong

Tic-tac-toe

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

"Just being proactive."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

Fight on the top

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'I hate snowboarders!'

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

Lion v Kiwi.

David Anderson vs. Goliath

'These things always taste better at the ballpark.'

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

I've just found out our competitors are losing money faster than we are.

Stunning politeness.

'You're useless, Johnson. I like that in a rival.'

'They're always moaning that they cant' tell which way my thumb is so I had this made.'

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

'You were never a team player, Thornton.'

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

'It all started over who had the bigger medical file.'

"Nobody realized I was a man to watch until it was too late."

The Red Cat: Beagle's About/Plate of Feud/Peer Group.

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

'Do it again.'

'Identify those with leadership potential. I need to eliminate the competition.'