Sports Rivalry Aficionado Gifts

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"Portrait of a Lady"

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Tic-tac-toe

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

"Just being proactive."

Football.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Fox hunting.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

U.S. World Cup Frenzy

Fight on the top

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Soccer player being showered with toilet roles and a toilet.

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"