Rivals Gifts

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Eat my dust!"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

The Alpha Seltzer

Polygamists' Picnic

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

'The grudge match.'

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

'We think a lot alike - and that threatens my uniqueness to this company.'

'Bad news: the report says it's cheaper if cats make it...'

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

'Uruguayan? - No, he's from Scotland.'

'I hate snowboarders!'

"I'm sorry your team lost - perhaps you should have rooted for the other team."

'You know my limits, don't you?'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

'I've been transferred again.'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'