Sibling Rival Gifts

'This is my brother Dave. He's real smart - brain the size of a pea.'

Measuring a girl's height.

"Is that all you can worry about? That your brother is riding your bike?"

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'Mummy Mummy: Tim's piece of cheese doesn't have as many holes as mine...'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

'You can just go somewhere else for your darts practice!'

'Go ahead, make my BED.' Clint Eastwood: Older brother.

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed all my brothers and sisters."

You wearing one of your sister's dresses again?

Trick Number 9: plant valuables in his room...in case you need a reason for a quick getaway.

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

"Gracie, no matter how smart-pants you are...I still love you."

"Okay, I feel guilty...you're reading and I'm watching TV."

"My little brother is a jerk! I suppose it's too late to trade him in for a puppy!"

'You kids stop your fighting, or I will crash this car into the next tree!'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

'You draw a pig just like your brother.'

'Do you have a Birthday card that smells - It's for my horrible little brother.'

"An area where a specific species lives. . . like my older sister in the bathroom."

'Your old report cards... At least you won't be a tough act to follow.'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'He's completely wrapped up in himself.'

"I dislike you both the same."

'I don't mind hand-me-downs. I just wish my brother had played football.'

Polygamists' Picnic

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

'I'll get my coat.'

'Mom! Make him stop! -- he's trying to sell my dolls on eBay!'

"At home there's a big sister, me, a dog, cat, and goldfish. That's what we call the food chain."

'I'm tired of arguing with you. You always have the last word.'

You'll wear the rubber bands until you learn to stop pinching your brother.