Sibling Rivalry Gifts

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'...Oh and could you hit my brother with a thunderbolt for beating my highest score!'

"Mom! Jonah's engaging in nation-building again!"

'Mom! - Jeffrey just said a DADDY word!!'

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'Sis is in the bathroom - how much is it worth to unlock the door?'

"Sis won't let me into her room unless I have a warrant!"

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

Baldo the secret agent ninja makes his way through the darkness. Suddenly, he sees what he came for: the forbidden golden nuggets. Secret agent ninja leaves with the loot, as quietly as he came."

"Hey! That's my little brother! Only I get to bully him."

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

Polygamists' Picnic

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

"Act your birth order!"

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'Does this mean I have to share my pocket money?'

"How many times do I have to tell you to quit going through your little brother!"

'Stop crying or Mom will think we're not having fun!'

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

"If you have one child you are a parent but if you have two, you are a referee!"

'MOM! -- Samantha called me names in her diary!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'The only reason I take him with me wherever I go, is because the thought of kissing him goodbye makes me feel sick!'