Dog Person With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"O.K., well, think about it, but remember, I find my own food, I'm quiet, and you don't have to take me for walks."

'You know... I like a man in brogues.'

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

"I was almost that last year."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"Shake! Good Dog."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Balloon dog poos.

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"Wow, what a DILF."

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

Man and dog on exercise bikes.

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

Dog phrenology

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"I vow to never again bat around someone else's fuzzy mouse."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

Word on the street is that he's self-domesticated.