Dog Grooming Gifts

'I'm shedding.'

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

'She feeds me, walks me, washes me, and picks up after me...yet...I'm supposed to be man's best friend?'

"The groomer went a little crazy with the blow dryer."

"I'm no show dog - I have Alopecia!"

'This time, Dr. Houston, I'm going to watch real close...

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

"Jill, you didn't use this volumising shampoo when you washed the dog did you?"

A new stylist, with fussing and savoury biscuits. . . but overall, Bev was very happy with the result!!

'Oh, jeez! Look at that poor bastard! Ha, ha! Oh, man! Hee, hee, hee...'

'Generalized alopecia?? This is a Chinese Crested, Doctor Kendall, and I brought her in for a bath.'

"Can I have the "dalmatian look" please?"

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

Mongrel

"My new dog-walker is faaabulous daaarling! I'll give you his card at our next grooming appointment!"

"I can die at peace now knowing your toe nails are neatly clipped."

Shampoo for Normal Fur, For Dry Fur, and for Fur Beyond Description.

"Wow, what a DILF."

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

"I'm sick too."

"The groomer used too much product."

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'I got tired of tussling with him in the bathtub.'

"All done...Now, don't you look handsome."

"It comes with three speeds. Lo, Hi, and Highway."

"I do not like fleas, Scratching hurts my knees, Fleas can cause disease, So keep them off me, please!"

"My master just washed my hair and I can't do a thing with it!"

"Apparently, the farmer used to run a poodle parlour!"

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'I docked those Setters' tails. What about the dewclaws?'

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'I think the dog's about to shed.'

"Right now, may the good Lord strike me dead with pneumonia."

Wrinkled pants/wrinkled dog