Dog-and-chess Humor Fans Gifts

Goldie playing chess. Check.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

Balloon dog training

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

"He ran out of pee."

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

When Dogs Rule

"We've done it Agnes. We're living the dream."

'My mother was a real bitch!'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"Bruno, sit."

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

Oh look, Marv - We're just in time for the running of the fools!

'The day has come.'

"How does it feel to be a fink, Sparky?"

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

"Get a life."

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

'I think you're confusing self-loathing with lactose intolerance.'

What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.

'There's another solicitor here. Do you wanna' handle this one?'

'Actually, they like to read, but so little is translated into dog.'

'Oh goody, chunky soup!'

"Welcome back sir: please come down..."

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

ONE LAST TIME! Where are the carrots!

"Don't feel bad, son. The people are only screaming because they're such big fans."