Doctor's Visit Pillows

"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I hope you're not one of those kids who have trouble swallowing pills."

'What do you mean there's no wait to see the doctor? I brought a picnic lunch and lots to read!'

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

'How are we going to play this...Good receptionist, bad receptionist?...'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"When I said you should take a walk every day I didn't just need to see me!"

"I should be coughing more easily - I've been practising all night!"

"If something doesn't kill you... you'll live forever."

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

Your nose is running...which I guessing is more than I can say for your feet.

'You have nothing to worry about. You're only imagining you have hypochondria.'

"What is your ideal weight?"

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

'Very interesting... your blood pressure is 17 over 76.'

"I have inoculation issues."

"The first one's just a warning."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Barbeque Casualty.

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Being Serenading in Casualty

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'