Doctor Visit Enthusiast Pillows

Taking blood pressure

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and it said I might get old!"

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"So what brings you in today?"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

"Just remember keep your chin up Arthur"

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

"The reason you haven't seen me lately is because I haven't been well..."

"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"

"I cancelled my last appointment without phoning the Doctor... so I'm making up for it by showing up without phoning!"

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

"Please fill out these medical forms, which are identical to the ones you filled out earlier online, and have the exact same questions your doctor will ask you later in the exam room."

'I'm worried about my brother, doctor!'

'As I said, the medication won't cure you, but it will make you more comfortable for the duration.'

'Very interesting... your blood pressure is 17 over 76.'

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

'Sometimes I get a little hypochondriacky.'