Do-gooder Pillows

'DO you remember when volunteering was just about trying to help people?'

Charities knocking on doors.

'No, you don't get paid, but you don't pay us either!'

"Yes, we're a charity tackling skyrocketing income inequality, but we're also a charity that should be saying 'I love my billionaire finder.'"

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

"If I'm collecting for one cause, I may as well collect for them all."

A winged boy scout carries an old lady across the road

Donations.

"I'm a do-gooder, Maggie. It's not easy."

"Seems like all of Nancy’s nonprofit work is going to her head."

Goody 3 Shoes

"You do pro bono work, I work for a non-profit, we both do volunteer work... that's why we need food stamps."

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'

"I think you got the wrong end of the stick...When we voted to use the money to help the Third World by buying livestock or providing clean water....we meant to send a cheque!"

Charity

'It's good that you enjoy volunteerism. This job pays just about nothing.'

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

'You'll have to excuse my husband - he's got compassion fatigue.'

"It's just that your acts of kindness are so random."

'Have you looked in the mirror since you comforted the sick this morning, pastor?'

Thanks And Giving.

"You name it, and he had a donor card for it."

"Don't be so mean...give him some money!"

'Samaritans, mission control'

"I think what I love most about you are your causes."

Baldo, I really got to know you on my recent visit. I want you to come see me someday. Here is $300. Save it for your plane fare. Don't even think about using the money to buy a car."

'Spare change.'

STRIP *Community Care * Skilled volunteer

"I see here several good deeds that seem to have gone unpunished."

"You're work might be free, but based on the quality, it's not pro bono."

'Ask me about my corporate matching program'

Please help.

'We don't help ladies across the street anymore. Can't afford the liability insurance.'

'This isn't rocket science, Chuck. You donate $1,000 to a charity. You feel good. That's it.'