Do-gooder With Dark Humor Pillows

'You'll have to excuse my husband - he's got compassion fatigue.'

"I thought you wanted me to change."

Charles Addams.

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

"From this you make a living?"

Bureau of the Damned

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'

Pranking Zombies

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

"Seems like all of Nancy’s nonprofit work is going to her head."

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

'He said there's a 40-minute wait for non-smoking.'

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

'So do I get the job or not?'

'We've given you a brain scan and we can't find anything.'

"I am now cutting all my rude remarks about the patient from her file."

"Yes, we're a charity tackling skyrocketing income inequality, but we're also a charity that should be saying 'I love my billionaire finder.'"

'We've got a problem - They're starting to enjoy it.'

'Why are you here now?!'

BOO

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

'Hello Novelty Shop. About that rubber knife you sold me.'

"This is my favourite part!"

'Really? We've only been here thirty minutes? Heck, it seems like an eternity.'

"I thought I knew evil, but you have to hand it to these advertising guys."

"Hardscrabble"

"This is a Soul Card. We deduct a small monthly fee, and you get your looks back as long as there is a positive balance."

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

"Well this is a shock. I had you pictured in solids."

The mortician's lunch-box.