Tech-savvy Do-gooder Pillows

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

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"Buy my data $20"

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

"Excuse me, it's my reminder to get a life."

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'

"Since we became a paperless workplace, it's harder to keep track of how much work Ziegler is actually doing!"

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Rationalization

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

"I'm sorry, Derek, but, now that Kelsey has learned how to convert JPEGs into PDFs, we can't justify keeping you on."

"Now I'd like to introduce the rest of my band. Give it up for my laptop!"

'I steal from the rich databases and give to the poor databases.'

'I see your office is as secure as your website.'

STRIP *Community Care * Skilled volunteer

"Where do you want the new guy to start?"

Snake Charmer using an MP3 device.

Clean your mobile phone screen, sir?

"Today we learn about multitasking, so play on your phones, talk to each other, and listen to me at the same time."

'Fighting evil, fighting evil, fighting evil...oh, wait, how about the 17th, say noonish?'

Please help.

Please Help! More Information On My Website. . .

'He said he sent you two tweets this week.'

Please Give or Text 'Beggar' on Your Phone (A $10 charge will appear on your next bill. Standard fees and data rates apply.)

'Any chance of utilising the Global Positioning System to forecast the length of the canteen queues?'