Tech-savvy Philanthropist Pillows

'Check the amount, put your pin in and press the green button.'

Please Give or Text 'Beggar' on Your Phone (A $10 charge will appear on your next bill. Standard fees and data rates apply.)

Beggar appears digitally on screen to beg for money with card swiper technology.

'Now accepting credit cards.'

Please help.

"No change? No problem! I got this credit card reader for Christmas."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Search for Rare Bitcoin

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

Follow God On Twitter

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"Buy my data $20"

This Cave Updated Daily.

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"Excuse me, it's my reminder to get a life."

"Since we became a paperless workplace, it's harder to keep track of how much work Ziegler is actually doing!"

Rationalization

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

The Blogger.

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

'Does it come with any Apps'

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

"I'm sorry, Derek, but, now that Kelsey has learned how to convert JPEGs into PDFs, we can't justify keeping you on."

A Fortune-teller clicking on her mouse attached to her crystal ball.

"What format shalt I save these in?"

"He calls it the eBible."

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."