Diy Cheek Gifts

Builder's Crack T-shirt

'Your shoe's untied.'

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

The Pocket Knife Tool Belt

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Using a dog to pull a tooth.

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

I know you're keen to practise the new salsa routine, but I'm getting a bit jealous of the vacuum.

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

Classic SM.

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

How very Hampstead!

'You're right, there's nothing in the rules against it.'

"He's busy cross-training. He's drinking with his left hand."

Athletes doing hurdles, short athlete has vaulting pole.

'Dear, it's better to light a candle than curse the nation's crumbling electrical grid.'

"I don't want to be empowered - I want to be sassy."

"You can be a right stirrer sometimes!"

Weight loss clinic, in and out doors.

"No, you may not request a change of venue."

"Don't worry, I shall be putting an exclamation mark after it."

Ed was saving a fortune on insect spray now he had discovered that flies have no natural immunity to being whacked with a rolled up newspaper.

How to distract your opposition on the golf course (farting).

'Your Mom's going to happy hour. Let's order pizza.'

Bird of the Day.

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'

Strike Action Man.

'I'm sick and tired of listening to depressed people lying on me with thier dirty shoes!' (analyst's couch).

In every port a portal