Diy Cheek Gifts

Builder's Crack T-shirt

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

'Now that should make it a lot easier.'

The Pocket Knife Tool Belt

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

'I couldn't figure out how to get rid of those stupid subtitles, so I slapped some duct tape over them.'

Using a dog to pull a tooth.

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

I know you're keen to practise the new salsa routine, but I'm getting a bit jealous of the vacuum.

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

How very Hampstead!

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

'You're right, there's nothing in the rules against it.'

"He's busy cross-training. He's drinking with his left hand."

Classic SM.

Athletes doing hurdles, short athlete has vaulting pole.

Weight loss clinic, in and out doors.

"I don't want to be empowered - I want to be sassy."

"You can be a right stirrer sometimes!"

"No, you may not request a change of venue."

'Dear, it's better to light a candle than curse the nation's crumbling electrical grid.'

'Great job! Now cover the other eye.'

"Don't worry, I shall be putting an exclamation mark after it."

How to distract your opposition on the golf course (farting).

Ed was saving a fortune on insect spray now he had discovered that flies have no natural immunity to being whacked with a rolled up newspaper.

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'

'Your Mom's going to happy hour. Let's order pizza.'

Strike Action Man.

In every port a portal

Bird of the Day.