Cheeky Cleaner Gifts

I know you're keen to practise the new salsa routine, but I'm getting a bit jealous of the vacuum.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Quick swig first?"

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

Hen Night

"I do diet...between snacks."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

The Height of Impudence.

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

'Pint of Binge, please. . .'

"Oh, baby, hot caramel? You're going to dip me in hot caramel? I'll be right over."

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

"It takes the fun out of it when the food police say it's ok."

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

'You want five dollars to buy a cup of coffee?', 'Yeah -- I want to have it at 'Hooters.''

'You can eat anything you want on this diet, but there's a strict limit on what you can swallow.'

"No, you may not request a change of venue."

"You can be a right stirrer sometimes!"

"I don't want to be empowered - I want to be sassy."

"...and then there's the small matter of that ball you planted on the fourth green."

'Great job! Now cover the other eye.'

I Will Not Chew My Pencil

Christmas Bra.

'Watch him-he's drinking on an empty wallet.'

Doing the washing up.

'Get naked - I need an endorphin fix.'

'They put me in the slow class - NOW who am I supposed to copy from?'

Man teased into putting his head through a hole into a firing range by sign 'Nudist camp'

"Fancy us washing away our sins like this!"

'Oh, Alright then - one for the road.'