Diy Adventurer Gifts

Builders confused by new Ikea store plans.

REALTY, 'It's a fixer-upper.'

DIY Bed&Breakfast

"It's very good but we bought a wardrobe."

Elmer's Hardware: 'I want one of thingamajigs! You know what I mean, a doohickey!'

'Pardon the dust. We're remodeling.'

'It's going to be all right, sir. Just slow down and tell me how long you've been lost.'

"We decided to restore our home to its original state."

Man is literary plastered.

'Anyone seen my aerosol varnish?'

'Instead of being stranded on this island for the next 10 years, I used my pocket knife to build a boat out of palm trees. I told you my woodworking skills would pay off.'

"Last week, my husband waded into the cords behind our TV to untangle them, and I haven't seen him since."

'She's having pups!'

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

Face Painting.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'Another DIY enthusiast methinks...'

"Have you been fiddling with the cuckoo clock again, Tony?"

'Did anyone bring the duct tape?'

"When I said to deal with the house hole, that's not what I meant!"

Pea green

"We thought it would save us money if we bought you the wood, and you made your desk yourself."

'Sorry dear, can you remind me again, which one's the lavatory?'

Kicking a cat to get it to purr smoothly.

Secure Your Ladder

"What you have to ask yourself is, do you want to get on the property ladder or not?"

"Still saving money by doing your own bike repairs, eh Sid?"

Flatpack furniture: Invention of men hating feminists.

'Dad's been waiting to paint that chair. Let's go tell him grandma's off her rocker.'

Decorative Evidence

Nice one, Darling. You've given us a Gothic arch cut out ouf the kitchen table.

'Yes, Grandad's busy decorating the tree.'

'While you were sleeping, I built it out of an abandoned sailboat that was floating by. Who's 'Mr. Stupid Idiot' now?'

'I've got a green thumb...his is black and blue.'